bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(via pizza)

darmani:

thatkilljoy:

chromeofficial:

nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

how old are you

"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see

(via epicskittlez)

furbychild:

talk furby to me

image

(via pagingme)

disneyprincest:

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again 

(via kittysmoo)

s-kinnie:

My friend and her bf just broke up and she called me crying and I was all like “You’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever. So think of it this way; you’re one heartbreak closer to happily ever after.” and I think she thought I was being deep and insightful, but really I was quoting wizards of waverly place

(via inactiveblogger)

supergeeked:

This is exactly how Texas is in case you didn’t know

(Source: weenie-hut-general, via toodopetoexist)

neyagawa:

foxnewsofficial:

you could really fuck with your baby if you get something embarrassing tattooed on the top of their head when they’re born and don’t tell them then they go bald 50 years later like what the fuck

never become a parent

(via letspeefromlaughing)

nerdjpg:

i can’t believe angelina jolie killed taylor swift

(Source: barebackinq, via toodopetoexist)

legalmexican:

Kanye West would win in Mario Kart and make you watch the whole trophy celebration

(via wigwams)

tokomon:

dumbesttweets:

She has failed at life. I hope authorities show up at her door.

yikes

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

howidiotic:

came across the best mug ever the other day

(via rhydonmyhardon)

dick-rider-dave-strider:

dick-rider-dave-strider:

grandmoms are precious and must be protected at all costs

i told her i was posting this on tumblr and she said “let me know how many hits i get!!!” so just watch this and make an old woman happy

(via charlie--sheen)

blakejp:

she did not friendzone me she just saved our relationship as a draft

(via greatwhiteprivilege)